My dad was brilliant, except those times when he was real dumb.

My dad once cut a car in half and buried it in our backyard. Instead of selling it for scrap metal, along with other car parts, he buried it all in our backyard, and made me help him dig the holes. And by “made me” I mean he bribed me with money, and told me not to tell my mom. As if she wasn’t going to notice a few new burial mounds in the middle of the backyard.

Dad was a mechanic, and worked on cars at home. Sometimes he needed to test drive the cars before and after. He usually did this himself, until one day when I was 10 years old, I reached the peddles. He thought to himself, "Yep, this is a good idea". Thus started my career as a race car driver.

My dad was my biggest cheerleader when it came to me misbehaving, even as an adult. One day, just after he had called me old ( I was 33yo. Nice, Dad) some kids walked by my parents’ house smoking a cigarette. They were headed next door. They were obviously too young to smoke and knew they’d get in trouble, so they put the cigarette out, and stuck it to my parents’ fence. I did the only thing I could. I told my dad to turn on the front yard sprinklers. He did, then he called me mean because it was probably their only cigarette. I was just thinking about their health. Someone has to watch out for the kids.

dolores@30secondtales.com